"You swept in, picked us all up, and saved us from our very selves." - Laurie DeYoung prayed this in church this morning and I think it summarizes my experience so well.
Sometimes I get so overwhelmed by my own sin that I just can't move on. It's all I can think about. "I've failed again. I let you down again, God." It's hard for me even to accept Christ's forgiveness. "How could I have done this again?" - I think that question reveals the issue. I am so prideful that I actually think I am somehow good. "How could I have done this?" I can't get over my own sin because I have such a hard time accepting that I am a fallen human being and when I sin I can't deny that. It's such a humbling, exhausting, shattering experience and it happens over and over and over.
"O, that my ways were steadfast in obeying your decrees! Then I would not be put to shame when I would consider all your commands."
-Psalm 119:5-6
I can relate so well to Paul's words:
"So I find this law at work: when I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God-through Jesus Christ our Lord!"
-Romans 7:21-25
Dear Lord, I need you to save me from my very self.
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